“I saw a dwarf security guard take a flying leap into and beat the living snot out of a 60-year-old man in a Hawaiian shirt who was trying to steal about $600 worth of steak.
The steak guy did this once a month or so. He would just fill up his shopping cart with steaks, briskets, pork ribs, etc, head up to the front, act like he was going to check out, then barrel through the exit doors and dump it into a waiting truck.
They never got a clear plate and were trying to catch him in the act.
I was working my counter and heard behind me ‘Sir don’t do it. Just step away from the cart.’ Walmart security is plainclothes and has no legal authority. They can detain you, and defend themselves, but they can’t restrain you. You can leave whenever you want. (I believe from what I remember).
So I turn around and I see this guy with the shopping cart full of steaks, and he’s looking cagey as heck. He’s starting to stammer and come up with excuses while simultaneously trying to play it off.
‘Sir just come with us, please. Let go of the cart sir.’ The guard trying to get him calm was the head of security there. He was a chill guy in his 30s but built like a brick house. You might think he was chubby if you looked at him. You wouldn’t dream he could bench like 340+ lbs.
So the steak guy, he makes his break. He tries to blow past chubs McMuscles, and they end up going into a stack of DVDs.
Then came Eric.
Eric was a…I’m honestly not sure he would qualify as a dwarf, perhaps just a guy with a growing disability. He was about 4 feet tall, max. He would look like a 12-year-old except for the fact that he was completely yolked. He was one of those just ‘itching for action’ type guys. He seemed like he had something to prove.
So MuscleChubs and Steak Guy are now down in the DVDs, and steak guy goes to get up, and here comes eric. I’m probably wrong, but I swear in my mind I heard ‘nyyyyyYAYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!’ and the little dude lept through the air, both feet out, and just cannonballed this guy in the chest feet first. He went down again. I heard chubs yell ‘Eric No!’ as he scrambled onto the guy’s chest, and just started THROWIN little hands into this dude’s face. Just wham wham wham wham wham.
This is….not what they teach you to do in Walmart security (loss prevention I think is the official department). Eric was fired pretty much immediately. Walmart got sued, and they’d have been better off just letting the guy run out with the steaks.
But boy what a show.”
